Bitch

Noun: Bitch (bich):

1. A miserable person who sucks all joy and happiness out of life, and makes life a little less worth living by her consistently shitty attitude. When not complaining, her drama and gossip will fill the void. He or she (but usually she) refuses to do something with a group, and will forego hanging out with said group unless they’re doing something she wants to do. She will put her interest ahead of others every single time, just for the sake of being a bitch. A bitch hates fun.
   

   “Hey guys, sorry we can’t check out that cool new Brazilian restaurant, Janet is being a bitch.”

2. An obnoxious bitch people can’t stand to be around. Normally, using the word I’m defining in the definition of said word wouldn’t make sense, but I’ve read this sentence four times now, and I’ll be damned if it’s not crystal clear to me.
3. A status you assume when you take one in the pooper while incarcerated. 
4. What you become when you fail at pool, bowling, Quake, english, math, Street Fighter Alpha, etc. 
5. Having a thankless job where you work lots of overtime without pay while your boss is on vacation. 
6. Having to sit in the middle seat between two people in a car or plane. 
7. Being last in line to get cake or ice cream at a party. 
8. Crying and throwing a tantrum about something nobody gives a shit about, including you.
   

   “I’m not going to give you $6 for my share of an $11 pizza when all I owe you is $5.50. I shouldn’t have to pay extra, waaaaaah!”

9. Having a high opinion of your looks and a sense of entitlement when people compliment you. Your ego is usually punctuated with a “hottie” shirt, which makes you slightly less tolerable to be around than children, and slightly more tolerable to be around than a saucer of goat cum.