The Integrated Man

September 10, 2010

Danielle and I first started sleeping together almost a year ago.

Filed under: Anne and The Divorce,Identity,Life,Sex and Love,The Meaning of Life — Integrated Man @ 3:34 am

Danielle and I first started sleeping together almost a year ago. 

 It was a time in my life when I had realized I had to be the man or else.  I had just been through a heartbreaking divorce.  I had realized that my own horrible case of nice guy itis had cost me everything.  I was just getting into a lot of dating advice, how to be alpha, and so forth.  I had just begun to dig into David’s materials.  I was changing.

A little background:

 I’ve known her a long time.  My family owns restaurants and she’s worked for us for a long time.  We’ve always been friendly.  She’s always enjoyed flirting with me.  What I was beginning to understand at that point was that when a girl flirts with you and gives you the green light, it’s because she wants to fuck you.  Period.  Simple enough.  Makes sense. 

 So one Sunday, she’s flirting with me and I called her out, inviting her back to my place.  Let’s go, right now, this morning.  She went wide eyed and almost dropped the coffee cup she was carrying.  She couldn’t concentrate for the rest of the day.  On her way out she gave me her personal cell number and I told her I’d call her.  I don’t think she believed me.  This whole thing was very taboo, and I should tell you now, she’s married. 

 So here we go:

 I call her two days later which is a Tuesday, to set up midday rendezvous for the next day.  She sounds stilted on the phone.  She was nervous as hell and frankly she couldn’t believe I called.  She went on about how she doesn’t have a body like my ex-wife.  Now she’s nervous.

 Here’s the part where I “dommed” and didn’t even know it:  She comes over the next day, and I’m sitting in my chair in my home office.  I just put my arms out and said “Come Here.”  She jumped in my lap and we started making out.  It wasn’t long before clothes flew off and off to the bedroom we went.  Maybe I have a bit of the Madonna/Whore complex with Danielle, because it was always natural and easy for me to be dominant and confident with her.  It’s also very natural and easy to talk dirty which, yes, she loves. 

 She is extremely responsive to me.  She has claimed repeatedly that it’s just something I do to her.  She comes vaginally through intercourse for me.  A lot.  We have about a three or four to one orgasm ratio.  There was a period when the relationship was new, that I would just keep getting it up for her after I came, which amazed her.  I experiment with supplements for longevity.  (Now I’m growing up with that, reading Maximum Male Performance and getting ready to order all the supplements – can’t wait to report on that!)

 Anyway she says my cock hits her just right.  She knows what a vaginal orgasm is and explained it to me one day, which was funny.  I’m pretty sure it’s mental and she’s responding to me being the man, at least in her eyes. 

 After the emasculation of my divorce, Danielle has been an object lesson for me in being the man and how important it is.  She is almost as important a teacher to me as David is. 

 The mindset is everything.  All else follows after that.

 I’m not remembering everything that’s relevant and I’m sure that I’ll add to this as time goes on.

 I just wanted to share my first success story of dominance and dirty talk!

June 18, 2010

Big update coming soon!

Filed under: Anne and The Divorce,Family,Identity,Life,Sex and Love — Integrated Man @ 7:02 pm

I have Alot to tell you. A big update is coming tonight or tommorrow.

June 5, 2010

Let me off!!!

Filed under: Anne and The Divorce,Life,Life And Death,Sex and Love — Integrated Man @ 10:59 pm

I am going to have to get off this rollercoaster and I finally think I’m ready. More complete report to follow tommorrow!

June 3, 2010

Thoughts for Anne….

Filed under: Anne and The Divorce,Family,Life,Sex and Love,The Meaning of Life — Integrated Man @ 5:21 pm

Anne honey, you’re hot and cold. Here’s what I think may be happening: you don’t really want me. You like the comfort I afford you because I am strong. I am your rock.

If that is indeed the case, I can no longer be used. You see, you and are most closely connected at our base chakras. That’s why the sex was so good. The flip side to that is that when you become emotionally distant, I can feel it in my stomach. It feels like a watermelon in my stomach.

Look deep within honey. If you don’t want to be with me, you can’t just be with me for comfort. I’m needing to know where I stand. I’ve really got my life together and I don’t have room for hot and cold. I’m getting to that “moving on” place.

It’s time for us to move on. Either with or without each other. But we need to pick one.

May 29, 2010

Anne is like a wild Colt

Filed under: Anne and The Divorce,Identity,Life,Sex and Love — Integrated Man @ 1:11 am

Let’s get this down while it’s still fresh. Had a reading with Shala and Jesus. My ex wife has low self esteem. She loves in her own way but not as deeply as I do. She is like a wild colt that you can pet sometimes and she’ll come close – other times she will run away. Sometimes the flame burns bright hot, other times it’s down to the pilot light. She has me wrapped around her little pinky and she knows it. I am her rock. She seeks me out when the drama of her own life becomes too tiresome. When she has had her fill of stability and support, she once again withdraws.

No more. I’m going to starve off the supply of rock support. I am going to make her work for it. I am going to be me when I am with her. It has been said that I am less and less of myself when I am with her. I am too nice to try to win her back. I’m going to have to make her work for me. I’m going to cut off access and draw her out. I’m not sure where this is going to lead. I can’t marry the same woman that I divorced. That would be marital suicide. Maybe if she found Jesus found god, decided to be a good Christian wife then maybe. I will not hold my breath.

I am going to withdraw and let her chase me. Hell, this is what I learned in the Tao of Steve. Silly me for forgetting. I am going to quietly withdraw. I am going to have to be patient.

She has said that she is drawn to me because I am her rock, I make her feel safe and protected. I am like home. Very hard to hear that from the woman you loved and lost. It’s hard not to get false hope.

She’s tempted to make love to me. Wants to spread her legs for me. But reticent because she knows it will lead to a relationship.

Here’s what I’m going to do:

I am going to take away her safety net. I am going to really start to limit her access to me. I am going to make her chase. And then I am going to fuck her. Updates to come.

May 22, 2010

Banging my ex wife

Filed under: Anne and The Divorce,Sex and Love — Integrated Man @ 2:38 am

Working on laying my ex wife. I really want to seduce her. It’s a long way back. I’ll keep you posted. In the meantime, I’ll still banging the married chick. More to come.

September 24, 2009

It’s all true…..

Filed under: Anne and The Divorce,Life,Sex and Love — Integrated Man @ 12:42 pm

Ever since the divorce early this year, I have been studying women and relationships. I studied marriage, i studied infidelity, I studied pick-up (PUA), and I’ve studied sexuality – giving women what they want sexually. I’m kind of an information junkie. Believe me, if I were diagnosed with some kind of cancer, I would get on the university of google, and learn all that was learnable about that for of cancer.

So as you may be able to imagine, after my divorce and the emotional devastation that accompanied it, I wanted to get this part of my life handled so that I would never face this sort of thing again. In the process of my studied (I’ve still only scratched the surface mind you) I’ve learned alot tha tI didn’t know about the female pysche.

Women are emotional creatures. Women are sexual creatures. Women ahve to be continously gamed or they will loose interest in you, even after twenty years. That in a cold hard fact. I have been working hard to become THAT kind of man. It’s starting to show. I’ve got two married women, who’s husbands aren’t cutting it, who are actively gaming me. Other side of the coin now. How do you like them apples? More to follow………

September 5, 2009

Bitch

Noun: Bitch (bich):

  1. A miserable person who sucks all joy and happiness out of life, and makes life a little less worth living by her consistently shitty attitude. When not complaining, her drama and gossip will fill the void. He or she (but usually she) refuses to do something with a group, and will forego hanging out with said group unless they’re doing something she wants to do. She will put her interest ahead of others every single time, just for the sake of being a bitch. A bitch hates fun.

    “Hey guys, sorry we can’t check out that cool new Brazilian restaurant, Janet is being a bitch.”

  2. An obnoxious bitch people can’t stand to be around. Normally, using the word I’m defining in the definition of said word wouldn’t make sense, but I’ve read this sentence four times now, and I’ll be damned if it’s not crystal clear to me.
  3. A status you assume when you take one in the pooper while incarcerated. 
  4. What you become when you fail at pool, bowling, Quake, english, math, Street Fighter Alpha, etc. 
  5. Having a thankless job where you work lots of overtime without pay while your boss is on vacation. 
  6. Having to sit in the middle seat between two people in a car or plane. 
  7. Being last in line to get cake or ice cream at a party. 
  8. Crying and throwing a tantrum about something nobody gives a shit about, including you.

    “I’m not going to give you $6 for my share of an $11 pizza when all I owe you is $5.50. I shouldn’t have to pay extra, waaaaaah!”

  9. Having a high opinion of your looks and a sense of entitlement when people compliment you. Your ego is usually punctuated with a “hottie” shirt, which makes you slightly less tolerable to be around than children, and slightly more tolerable to be around than a saucer of goat cum.

August 13, 2009

Feminism is destroying civilization

Filed under: Anne and The Divorce,Family,Identity,Life,Sex and Love,The Meaning of Life — Integrated Man @ 9:01 pm

FEMINISM: Why the female sex has lost its mind.

Kassie nails it right on the head. This is exactly the reason I am divorced. More on that soon….

May 26, 2009

My ex-wife gets hers

Filed under: Anne and The Divorce,Life,Sex and Love — Integrated Man @ 6:41 pm

I suppose I should gloat.  The day I used to talk about has arrived.  My ex-wife is beginning to regret leaving.  She understands now how important marriage is to her and what she did to me.  It’s a little late for all this.  Suprisingly too, it’s a little hard to hear.  You see, I still love my ex-wife.  I never stopped loving her.  The thought of her getting this right one day with someone else is sickening.  I also think about her coming back to me and asking for another chance and would I be willing to take that risk. 

I think it is a distinct possiblity that I will have that choice to make one day.

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