The Integrated Man

September 10, 2010

Danielle and I first started sleeping together almost a year ago.

Filed under: Anne and The Divorce,Identity,Life,Sex and Love,The Meaning of Life — Integrated Man @ 3:34 am

Danielle and I first started sleeping together almost a year ago. 

 It was a time in my life when I had realized I had to be the man or else.  I had just been through a heartbreaking divorce.  I had realized that my own horrible case of nice guy itis had cost me everything.  I was just getting into a lot of dating advice, how to be alpha, and so forth.  I had just begun to dig into David’s materials.  I was changing.

A little background:

 I’ve known her a long time.  My family owns restaurants and she’s worked for us for a long time.  We’ve always been friendly.  She’s always enjoyed flirting with me.  What I was beginning to understand at that point was that when a girl flirts with you and gives you the green light, it’s because she wants to fuck you.  Period.  Simple enough.  Makes sense. 

 So one Sunday, she’s flirting with me and I called her out, inviting her back to my place.  Let’s go, right now, this morning.  She went wide eyed and almost dropped the coffee cup she was carrying.  She couldn’t concentrate for the rest of the day.  On her way out she gave me her personal cell number and I told her I’d call her.  I don’t think she believed me.  This whole thing was very taboo, and I should tell you now, she’s married. 

 So here we go:

 I call her two days later which is a Tuesday, to set up midday rendezvous for the next day.  She sounds stilted on the phone.  She was nervous as hell and frankly she couldn’t believe I called.  She went on about how she doesn’t have a body like my ex-wife.  Now she’s nervous.

 Here’s the part where I “dommed” and didn’t even know it:  She comes over the next day, and I’m sitting in my chair in my home office.  I just put my arms out and said “Come Here.”  She jumped in my lap and we started making out.  It wasn’t long before clothes flew off and off to the bedroom we went.  Maybe I have a bit of the Madonna/Whore complex with Danielle, because it was always natural and easy for me to be dominant and confident with her.  It’s also very natural and easy to talk dirty which, yes, she loves. 

 She is extremely responsive to me.  She has claimed repeatedly that it’s just something I do to her.  She comes vaginally through intercourse for me.  A lot.  We have about a three or four to one orgasm ratio.  There was a period when the relationship was new, that I would just keep getting it up for her after I came, which amazed her.  I experiment with supplements for longevity.  (Now I’m growing up with that, reading Maximum Male Performance and getting ready to order all the supplements – can’t wait to report on that!)

 Anyway she says my cock hits her just right.  She knows what a vaginal orgasm is and explained it to me one day, which was funny.  I’m pretty sure it’s mental and she’s responding to me being the man, at least in her eyes. 

 After the emasculation of my divorce, Danielle has been an object lesson for me in being the man and how important it is.  She is almost as important a teacher to me as David is. 

 The mindset is everything.  All else follows after that.

 I’m not remembering everything that’s relevant and I’m sure that I’ll add to this as time goes on.

 I just wanted to share my first success story of dominance and dirty talk!

August 17, 2010

Alpha Male Versus Beta Male

Filed under: Identity,Life,Sex and Love — Integrated Man @ 12:26 am

This classic appearead over at citizen renegade:

August 11, 2010 by Chateau

There have been photos of alpha males and beta males here at the Chateau before, but never has there been a photo of the two species of man so starkly contrasted in the same photo. And an aesthetically pleasing photo, at that.

How do we know that alpha male and beta male aren’t socially constructed concepts? Because every single one of my readers, except for the disingenuous liars, intuitively knew exactly which man was which without having it spelled out. You looked at this photo and you knew which man was in control of his relationship and his girlfriend’s fidelity, and which man was on the precipice of a breakup wondering why the sex has stopped.

The photographer won $80,000 for this first place photo, and for good reason. It says so much.

But the important things it says are probably not what the judges or the arts community thinks it says. For that, we must delve deeper, to the hulking monstrous id clawing at the cellar door. Like the dream levels in Inception, the ultimate truth is locked in a vault at the center of the subconscious.

Examine the men’s body language. The beta leans into his girl; the alpha stands athwart PDA, yelling Stop. The beta rests his plush noggin on his girlfriend’s shoulder; the alpha holds his head high. The beta’s torso is diminutively curled inward; the alpha’s chest is thrust outward. The beta’s shoulders slump; the alpha’s shoulders square up. The beta’s spine is bent; the alpha’s spine is straight. The beta’s legs are closed; the alpha’s legs are splayed. The beta’s hands are groping his girlfriend for reassurance; the alpha’s hands are clasped away from his girlfriend. The beta is Mr. Sleepyhead; the alpha is calmly alert.

Now examine the body language of the girls. The alpha’s girlfriend leans into him. Her eyes are either closed or heavily lidded with contentment. Her left breast presses into his back and her left arm wraps around him. Her chin rests lovingly on his shoulder. She is ensconced in the cocoon of his masculinity, a mere branch dangling languidly from his oaken composure. She wants to merge with him.

In contrast, the beta’s girlfriend leans away from him, her head turned toward more interesting subjects, like the view out the windows. Her breasts point away from him, in directions unknown but undoubtedly exciting. Her entire body is shifted away from his cuddly meanderings. She grips the coffee cup like a lifeline. Her face betrays a hint of annoyance, or perhaps wistfulness. Wistful for what? A longing for renewed passion? She is playing the role of the oak tree, and she resents it. She wants to chop off his branch and merge with the outside world.

The two couples are mirror images of each other.

Alpha body language — aka high status nonverbal signaling — is absolutely critical to any successful seduction, from pickup to relationship management. Women mentally register the gears and pulleys of our body mechanics before they hear our words, and a misstep there means our words will fall on deaf ears. The good news is that alpha body language can be learned and applied to increase your success rate with women.

While the alpha male in the above photo is more conventionally masculine looking than the beta male, if the beta was sitting like the alpha, mimicking his demeanor, he would suddenly look more masculine to the viewer. And his girlfriend would look less like she was thinking about fucking the guy she met in the coffee shop that morning.

(photo link courtesy of Rufus)

June 18, 2010

Big update coming soon!

Filed under: Anne and The Divorce,Family,Identity,Life,Sex and Love — Integrated Man @ 7:02 pm

I have Alot to tell you. A big update is coming tonight or tommorrow.

June 5, 2010

Let me off!!!

Filed under: Anne and The Divorce,Life,Life And Death,Sex and Love — Integrated Man @ 10:59 pm

I am going to have to get off this rollercoaster and I finally think I’m ready. More complete report to follow tommorrow!

June 3, 2010

Thoughts for Anne….

Filed under: Anne and The Divorce,Family,Life,Sex and Love,The Meaning of Life — Integrated Man @ 5:21 pm

Anne honey, you’re hot and cold. Here’s what I think may be happening: you don’t really want me. You like the comfort I afford you because I am strong. I am your rock.

If that is indeed the case, I can no longer be used. You see, you and are most closely connected at our base chakras. That’s why the sex was so good. The flip side to that is that when you become emotionally distant, I can feel it in my stomach. It feels like a watermelon in my stomach.

Look deep within honey. If you don’t want to be with me, you can’t just be with me for comfort. I’m needing to know where I stand. I’ve really got my life together and I don’t have room for hot and cold. I’m getting to that “moving on” place.

It’s time for us to move on. Either with or without each other. But we need to pick one.

May 29, 2010

Anne is like a wild Colt

Filed under: Anne and The Divorce,Identity,Life,Sex and Love — Integrated Man @ 1:11 am

Let’s get this down while it’s still fresh. Had a reading with Shala and Jesus. My ex wife has low self esteem. She loves in her own way but not as deeply as I do. She is like a wild colt that you can pet sometimes and she’ll come close – other times she will run away. Sometimes the flame burns bright hot, other times it’s down to the pilot light. She has me wrapped around her little pinky and she knows it. I am her rock. She seeks me out when the drama of her own life becomes too tiresome. When she has had her fill of stability and support, she once again withdraws.

No more. I’m going to starve off the supply of rock support. I am going to make her work for it. I am going to be me when I am with her. It has been said that I am less and less of myself when I am with her. I am too nice to try to win her back. I’m going to have to make her work for me. I’m going to cut off access and draw her out. I’m not sure where this is going to lead. I can’t marry the same woman that I divorced. That would be marital suicide. Maybe if she found Jesus found god, decided to be a good Christian wife then maybe. I will not hold my breath.

I am going to withdraw and let her chase me. Hell, this is what I learned in the Tao of Steve. Silly me for forgetting. I am going to quietly withdraw. I am going to have to be patient.

She has said that she is drawn to me because I am her rock, I make her feel safe and protected. I am like home. Very hard to hear that from the woman you loved and lost. It’s hard not to get false hope.

She’s tempted to make love to me. Wants to spread her legs for me. But reticent because she knows it will lead to a relationship.

Here’s what I’m going to do:

I am going to take away her safety net. I am going to really start to limit her access to me. I am going to make her chase. And then I am going to fuck her. Updates to come.

May 11, 2010

Upcoming

Filed under: Identity,Life,Money,Sex and Love,The Book,The Meaning of Life — Integrated Man @ 10:34 pm

I know I’ve been quiet for a while. I’m working on developing my magnificent obsession. I’m listening to Kevin Trudeau’s magnificent “Your Wish is Your Command” cd set. I’m taking extensive notes which I’ll post and discuss here.

May 2, 2010

Power outtages suck

Filed under: Life — Integrated Man @ 12:06 am

Do not take modern conveniences for granted. We could not live without them.

April 30, 2010

Putting my money where my mouth is……..

Filed under: Identity,Life,Life And Death,The Meaning of Life — Integrated Man @ 11:42 pm

I’ve been touting the benefits of self improvement for a while now.  I really am in the process of designing a better life and fashioning myself into the kind of person I want to be.  Well, I recently took a very big step.  I kicked my renter out of the house.  I don’t need his rent money I don’t want him around.  Why is this significant?  Here’s the story:

George and I have have been tight for close to 17 years.  Tight.  Sometimes realtionships carry on out of habit after the person who was so special to us has completely dissappeared.   George has been in and out of trouble over the years.  He was a spoiled brat with an upper middle class upbringing fast on his way to becoming a lawyer.  But he never had it in him.  as soon as George got to college and out from under the umbrella of his overprotective father, he crashed and burned.  He made it one semester at Michigan State University and flunked out.  the guy was out of gas from the start. 

So he comes homes and gets a job and a local comic sci-fi store.  That’s where he and I became friends.  He was always a lot fun.  Lazy, unmotivated and undependable, but that didn’t matter to me at the time.   Well I moved to LA, worked with the high and mighty for a while and five years later moved home to marry the love of my life.  In the meantime:

George is diagnosed bipolar.  Tells his father that he hates him in a family therapy session.  His father dies that night of a massive brain hemmorage or something.  George continues sliding downhill, his stepmother completely cuts him off.  In this time, George smokes more and more pot.  Two other friends cut him off at this point. 

Meanwhile, I come home from LA like nothings happened and we’re friends again.  Well, i get busy getting married and stuff and fall out of touch.  During this time, George, in a paranoid episode, gets into a fistfight with his stepfather and goes to the Macomb County Jail for nearly nine months.  It’s from here that he gets back in touch with me after some time out of touch (again).  Silly me, just keep giving him chance after chance.  He comes off as a nice guy and snow’s alot of people. 

Getting to the point, I’m going to skip alot of the story.  It’s 2008 and I’m getting divorced.  It is the worst experience of my life and George, to be fair, is there for me.  almost from the beginning he’s offering to move into my basement and pay me rent to help me out.  She walked away and left me with the house after the divorce. 

I didn’t want him to live with me.  I knew better.  He’s a slob.  He’s unmotivated.  He’s a bad influence to be around.  Well there were a couple of mitigating circumstances.

  1. He got social security.  As pathetic as that is, at least I was garuanteed he’d always have the rent money every month.
  2. He got accepted to a very prestigiuous school.  He’s an artist, and I got him back into his painting.  He got accepted to the College for Creative Studies in Detroit on a full ride.  Not easily done.

So I figured he’s moving up in the world and he’s be busy this will be managable.  Well, the whole summer he sat in his underwear in the basement.  I was already ready to kill him.  He finally starts going to school, goes for a month, cries and bitches about how hard it is and stops going.  And starts sleeping all day.  And I mean all day.  So I put him on notice around christmas time and he swears he’s going to give it another go.  He does.  Same thing, back to bed all day.  Slob.  Unmotivated.

I kicked his ass out.  You are the sum total of your five best friends and I can’t have him factoring into my GPA anymore.  This is my first week of having my house back to myself and being free of him.  So far so great……….

April 18, 2010

Here’s what I’m going to do……

Filed under: Identity,Life,Money,Sex and Love,The Meaning of Life — Integrated Man @ 1:53 am

Well it’s been quite a year.  I’m in great shape – starting to act like James Bond and getting laid.  I’ve kicked out my loser roomate and can’t wait to be alone – one more week.  I’m working on self improvement in a few different areas:

  1. law of attraction/wealth.  I have a new Kevin Trudea CD set called “Your Wish Is Your Command”.  I will be listeneing to that over and over and reflecting on my ideas and insights. 
  2. Pick up/ sex.  I’ve got alot going on here.  Alot of materials and insights to integrate.   Doc Love’s System, RSD bluepringt decoded and flawless natural, David Shade’s materials and more. 

I will be taking raw observational notes on what I learn and I will be making my own commentary.  I intend to post all of that here.  This writing we help with my learning.  This is a new beginning………

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